how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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