she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My dick has a subreddit
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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