Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
