I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
