so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
