Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
