Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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