yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
