This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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