How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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