Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
