so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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