Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift

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(817): View more from Texas

MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.

Fav 10 1044 3454
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(248): View more from Michigan

You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...

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(630): View more from Illinois

there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?

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(650): View more from California

My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.

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(315): View more from New York

Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.

(1-315): View more from New York

FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.

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(705): View more from Ontario

We turned his nipples into a drinking game.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?

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