Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
