What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you never un-have a 4some
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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