with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
