On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i love accidental penises.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
