if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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