OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
