better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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