they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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