meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
