I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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