just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i think we sleep fucked last night...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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