Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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