I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
