Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize