I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
