I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
