so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm always down for nudity.
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