Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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