I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
