i don't like sucking hair
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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