went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
