My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
