He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
