is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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