Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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