All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
