Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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