Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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