It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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