and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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