I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You're like the curious george of whores
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Can I color on your dick again?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
