so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
