At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i think i just lost a toe
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
