whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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