I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
