Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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