let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize