just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
