For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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