I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
