I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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