Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I want her autograph on my taint
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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