you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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