how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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