If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
