Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
not ubering you a puppy
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
